1. When I get angry, the main thing I do is
e. throw things.
f. get sarcastic.
2. When I say “Just leave me alone,” I mean it
a. 100 percent of the time.
b. 75 percent of the time.
c. 50 percent of the time.
d. 25 percent of the time.
e. 0 percent of the time.
3. When I get mad at you, I want you to
a. leave me alone to work it out myself.
b. get mad at me too.
c. be rational and not react.
d. hug me.
I hold grudges.
from The Marital Compatibility Test by Susan Adams
1. The main thing I do when I get angry is rant and rave. Before I had kids, I cried. And I rarely cry now. There’s got to be something very multi-layered and historical going on for me to cry from anger. I don’t exactly yell, either. Can we call it raising my voice?
When I really yell, well, that’s rare. If I worry about the neighbors hearing me, then I know I’ve been yelling. And honestly I don’t think that has happened more than five times in ten years.
So that’s good, right? I mean, I should be proud of that. Should I be proud of that?
Back in the day, I did sometimes throw things. Water, out of a glass, for example. And when I was little, I used to throw my stuffed animal. He was a raccoon. Well, he is gone now. Seriously, gone. He’s dead. Probably not even in a landfill. That was a long time ago. I don’t throw things anymore.
And I don’t get sarcastic when I’m mad. I’m too sensitive to be sarcastic. Sarcasm is insensitive. It’s trying to catch someone with his mental/verbal pants down. See how slow you are? That’s what sarcasm is. I don’t do that. Why are people sarcastic? Stop it.
2. Okay, so I never, never want to be left alone when I’m mad. Even if I say LEAVE ME ALONE. Or GO AWAY. GET OUT OF HERE! (etc) Any and all of that, if I say it, it’s absolutely not true. Don’t go anywhere and especially, please, don’t go to sleep.
3. But that doesn’t mean I want you to hug me. That would be dumber than hugging a cactus. A cactus with a gun. You would never do that, right? And I hardly expect you to be rational and not react. What is the point in that? That wouldn’t be a fight. That would make me furious.
What was the other option? Get mad at me, too. Yes, that’s what I want. But not quite as mad as I am.
All right. What else. True or false: I hold grudges.
False. I don’t hold grudges.